Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
