so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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