they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Randomize
