Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
