I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
