we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Randomize
