Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Randomize