I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
