So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Randomize
