tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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