those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
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