biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
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