TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Randomize
