@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
