I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
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