I'm really into asian looking animals
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
