At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Houston, we have a blender
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
