what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
