Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
