Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
