By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
