Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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