btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
