i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
