We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
