I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Randomize