You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize