I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
