where am i from again
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize
