I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
