Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
