SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
