...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
