Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I'm jealous of your bromance
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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