i jhust puked up my retainher.
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
