Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
