Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
