my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
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