she looked like the bat from fern gully.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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