so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
