so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I have feelings that need drinking.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Randomize
