as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
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I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
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Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
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