Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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