3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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