in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
im having a threesome with these popsicles
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
