I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
