I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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