my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
