the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
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