i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
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you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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