hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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