so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
where are you?
Hypothermia
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
