I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
