How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
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quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
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